Week 4

This week was so interesting! We looked at lots of different studies that were just so intriguing to my brain. We talked about the differences between male and females, and also same sex attraction.

I wish I could just bring y'all with me into the classes because they are sooo good and I do a terrible job at reiterating what was said/what I learned. 

This one may be a long one. Brother Williams (the professor) had us watch a study done of if there is a difference between men and women other than the biological bodies. In todays day and age especially over the past 5 years there has been a belief that men and women are the same and that there aren't any differences between us. That the behaviors and stereo types we find in society are because of old traditions and social upbringings. 

In the study that we looked at, along with some other studies done it was found that there are differences between males and females even when we are infants! Which blows my mind! The main differences we established were these:

Females:

• Develop more quickly

• toy/play references (more nurturing roles)

• Studying faces

• Speech development

• Verbal communication

• Make beautiful things

• People oriented

• Fine motor skills (intricate movements)

• groups/cooperative

• Remembering details in relation to something else. (relationship oriented…things in relation to each other) landmarks

• more white matter in the brain (helps exchange information from one thing to another)

Males:

• Bigger startle response (better awareness around them)

• violent/destructive/aggressive

• Looking at objects

• Theme oriented

• Construction

• Gross motor skills (whole body/larger movements)

• Competitive

• Spatial orientation

• Myopic orientation (being aware of one thing at once/focused on one thing at once)

• Protection & provide & preside

• more grey matter in the brain(has to do with processing information

This was to be found consistent around the world, and even in the animal kingdom. There was a study done on monkeys where they studied these behaviors and found them to behave in the same way we do. One study looked at these developing toddlers who were given both types of situations/toys to choose from and girls often chose more sociable/nurturing options and the boys often chose the more competitive & destructive ones. It also talks about how some out of each group both boys and girls would pick the other option. The atypical response.

Which leads to the next thing that we talked about, a theory called EBE Exotic Becomes Erotic. (This section we were talking about was about same sex attraction) This theory says that there are two types of behavior. 

Gender-typical, and Gender-atypical. Gender-typical people often make choices and behave in ways that go along with the typical behaviors of that gender. The Gender-atypical people often gravitate towards the nontypical behaviors of their gender.

The study found that some of these children who were atypical in behavior were given negative feedback from not only the parents but also the other kids. Often times too the negative feedback was mostly for the boys because they weren't "boy enough" or were "sissies" for wanting to play with the "girls toys". (Girls who were gender-atypical in behavior were more accepted and neutral in response compared to the boys. Labeling them as just a "tomboys") 

This lead to us looking at a study done on same gender attraction, and why it happens for some people. There isn't a lot of research, because homosexuality hasn't really come to the attention of society much until recently. However we went over the several different things that people say about people who feel same gender attraction. There are around 4 theories that people cling onto that explain homosexual feelings.

1. It’s biological “born this way”

They studied twins (especially identical twins because if it is biological someone who shares 100% of the DNA would feel the exact same) that would identified as gay.

They found that out of both twins if one identified as gay that a very low (7-11%) would also be gay. Therefore, so we know it isn’t genetic.

2. Social model (missing parental figure/attention)

Around 60-70% of gay men experienced a very distant dad and a smothering, over controlling mother. 

3. Trauma response

62-72% of gay men said they were sexually assaulted when they were young.

Most had something sexual by the age of 12.1. (which is considered sexual assault) 

4. Free will (agency to choose/ it is a choice)

Most people don’t want to have homosexual feelings. (of what most therapists have found when talking to people who come to them talking about these feelings) In fact they feel bad and ashamed of it.

One of the therapists from the studies talked about a fifth theory that he likes to use that he finds the most accurate. He found that in almost every case that he had taken over the years that most people don’t want to have homosexual feelings at first. They often are very confused and feel guilty for having those sort of feelings. Especially depending on what kind of household they grew up in. He found that the fifth theory is that is it something you are capable of doing. Which doesn’t dismiss that they have those sort of feelings, but also doesn’t dismiss that most of the time they also have feelings for the opposite sex as well. After working with them and focusing on that often the people who did not want to have those homosexual attractions anymore struggled a lot less, because of the switch in mindset that they had.

To go along with that, people who have gender atypical behaviors in every case would often have sexualized behaviors that lead them to be attracted to the same sex. They didn’t necessarily do it on purpose, but when behaviors became sexualized they started to have those feelings. In todays world (specifically in the usa) we live in a hypersexualized society. Which is leading to many people coming across these feelings that they don’t know how to deal with it. It is becoming almost impossible to watch anything without it having some sort of sexual content in it, whether that is verbal or visual. 

 My professor has been a marriage and family counselor for many many years now. I think at least 20 years now. He has come across a lot of people who struggle with same sex attraction. He said that the number one thing that has worked every time have been to change their mindset, and to stop sexualizing things. When you stop sexualizing behavior from others it stops becoming feelings for the same sex. 

In the scriptures it talks a lot about self mastery, and bridling your passions. We believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that we are preparing to become like God in this life, and that one day we will become like Him. In order to do that we need to bridle our passions and control ourselves and our feelings, no matter what background we come from or what type of behavior we tend to lean towards. God created us with a purpose and each of us are individually designed. Gender(our sex we were born as) is an essential part of our identity that God has made for us. He made us all perfectly and I think that is absolutely beautiful. I wanted to share so much from this week, because I think it would be helpful for people out there who aren’t wanting to have same sex attraction to have some sort of hope out there, that they can get help. It is hard, and it will be hard. Change is always hard, but the outcome and joy that come from trying to change and become more like God are indescribable. I love my savior Jesus Christ and I am so grateful He has provided so many resources out there to help everyone no matter what their circumstances may be.