Week 2

 This week we talked a lot about family roles and what roles we played in our families. We talked about some theories that happen with communication in families. 

Exchange Theory:

As individuals we do what benefits us most

Symbolic Interaction Theory:

Drawing conclusions based on our interpretation of behavior. Behavior has meaning, and it may not be interpreted correctly.

Systems Theory:

Every family has rules and roles that they play and listen to in their families.

Conflict Theory:

The pursuit of scarce resources by rational self-interested actors will necessarily lead to conflict.

All of these different theories play into the communication we have with every single human being we will run into. Most of them occur because of the way we've grown up. When we were talking about these different things it made me think of my own family and our own communication. I have realized since taking this class that my family doesn't have the healthiest ways of communicating. That and sometimes the roles we are put in as children in our families we grow out of, but it is hard to get out of that role around your family.

I especially noticed this when I came home from college and my mission. I grew A LOT as a person, and it was hard to come back home and feel like I was forced and stuck in this role I didn't want to play anymore in my family. 

I feel like in my family growing up I played to role of the child who would help out a lot willingly because it was an enjoyable learning experience for me. Now when I go home to visit my dad has all of these tasks that he wants me to do because growing up I would just say yes to everything he asked. Setting boundaries and saying no when I have other plans is extremely hard for me. That and my dad has OCD and has to control all situations, so when it doesn't go the way he planned he doesn't handle it well. This is what leads to the next thing I learned about the Symbolic Interaction Theory.

In my family this is very prevalent. Basically what this theory means is that when somebody does something we interpret it differently than they intended. This can cause problems in many relationships especially if people have had bad relationships and things are triggering, behavior that is normal to one person can completely offend and/or shut down the other. 

I was talking with my roommate about this. (she came to my families thanksgiving since she couldn't go to her own families) In my family when we talk to each other we don't always acknowledge what each other has said. In my roommates family it is the opposite they are constantly making noises or acknowledging what each other are saying in every circumstance. So, when she came to my house to stay for a bit my sister was telling a story to her, me, and my mom. None of us commented or really responded to my sisters story (I mean I didn't have anything to say), but this made my roommate almost freak out. She explained to me later that she was frantically waiting for either me or my mom to say something to acknowledge that my sister was heard, and of course neither of us did and so she jumped in and told her it was a cool story or something like that. I never realized that wasn't "normal" before, but it makes sense. In my family that was just a learned behavior of not responding unless you want to add...It doesn't mean that you weren't listening, but that you didn't have anything to add. However, in my friends family if you don't respond you obviously weren't listening, and that is incredibly rude.

I think it is really important to educate ourselves on how behavior is interpreted and being communicated. Proper communication solves 90% of problems. At least in my opinion anyway. When we learn how we are communicating things to others it can help when you have conflict over miscommunication! I don't know if any of that made sense. It was a really cool class, but I am not very good at expressing what I learn.